Just Uneasy
by whatariot
Summary: "Frank had a bad feeling about Sam's undercover unlike he'd ever felt before." Frank was worried. Mild Language.


_I'm kind of enjoying the retrospective writing right now. I'm filling in blanks with what I'd like to be there and making things up as I go along. It's like history but better. I actually really like this and I'm pretty proud of it. Frank is a pretty blank character so I could make him who I wanted more or less which fit well here. Thanks again to my reviewers. I enjoy your feedback nearly as much as the writing itself._

**I still own nothing.**

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><p>Frank had a bad feeling about Sam's undercover unlike he'd ever felt before. When heard that hasty voicemail on his phone the sense of foreboding he'd felt was palpable. Logically he knew it was ridiculous. Sam was good but the haste this was obviously thrown together with was worrisome. Boyd had been trying to talk Sam under for months but he'd dodged and put-off answering and somehow seemed to think no one knew why.<p>

He knew Sam better than most at the fifteen did with the possible exceptions of Oliver and Noelle and maybe Jerry. His promotion to Staff Sergeant hadn't really changed their dynamic much. The playoffs still rotated between all their houses. They would still deliberately rattle one another for sport. He still needed Sam's assistance and more importantly his tools in finishing that deck that had given his ex-wife nightmares. They meshed well which was somewhat surprising given their differences. He never pushed Sam for more than he wanted to share and Sam never commented when Frank shared too much. It worked or at least it had up until this point. A large part of him wondered if their friendship would ever be the same, if they even could get back to that point and if they really wanted it to.

Sam had always thrived undercover. Even on their first scavenger hunt Sam had been the shining star. Given that he pretended to be a Zamboni driver named Ernie it was kind of surprising. Having a girlfriend who'd trained with Sam did give you some advantage when attempting to leverage him into agreement. It was an unusual talent that was difficult to train. Most true undercover cops burnt out fast. They saw the absolute worst in people and had to stand by and watch the worst happen, against every instinct they'd been taught. It was marketable in the service but it was a drain. You spent your time in limbo unable to do the right thing, and frequently doing the wrong thing. It took true belief in the greater good or maybe just the ability to make yourself believe. Frequently cops couldn't come out of the gray and had to leave either by their own choice or IA declared them dirty or through a shrink who said they were tainted goods. Sam had managed to keep his nose clean and get the job done multiple times coming out clean though not unscarred. Frank figured most of that talent was just refusal to give anything away he didn't have to. Sam had taken "private" to an art form. The rest of it was just a bull-headedly stubborn refusal to acknowledge things that didn't fit within his worldview.

It was that tunnel-vision in part that got his ass slammed to the ground by a rookie on her first day. Frank couldn't help but grin looking back. He'd have paid cash to watch McNally take Sam to the ground. Maybe next retraining day he could rig the draw. He might as well have some fun. He was pretty sure Oliver and Noelle would get a kick out of it. He didn't see it happen but he knew enough of McNally and Sam to know what did. Sam had her pegged in mere seconds and dismissed her after that. That he could just crawl out the window and meander away without her making a run at him just confirmed what Sam believed to be true. '_Rookie. Inexperienced. Nervous, No balls yet,_' and off he waltzed not thinking she might try to follow. He underestimated her and he paid for it by having 130lbs of female tackle him as he stumbled into the pavement. Frank had seen him stomp in after Jerry burned him. Sam wasn't the least bit shy in letting his anger be known to the entirety of the station. He stomped and cursed and said some very uncomplimentary things about Oliver, Jerry and "Bambi the Wonder Rook," before storming into Boyko's office in a snit.

Later he knew Sam was impressed. It came up a few months after the fact but Sam said something nice about McNally out of the blue. Frank saw Ollie's ears prick up like a dog hearing a squirrel in a bush.

"She's going to be a really good cop," Sam had announced with no preamble.

They had been discussing the rookies over the poker table and unsurprisingly her name had been mentioned. The words 'Trouble-magnet' and 'Too naïve by half' had been floated out there. It was what Jerry said next which gave the night a sour note. "I don't see it. She tanked that hooker detail and nearly got herself killed a few hours later. She's Tommy McNally's kid. She's got that self-destruct button in her hand and we're all just waiting around for her to push it."

In Jerry's defense, Frank knew he hadn't meant to start anything but he'd certainly found the proverbial button to push that night. Oliver, who rarely got worked up about anything was offended and told Jerry as much. A few other cop friends from other divisions told him he'd crossed a line. Frank said he was being too hard on the girl. Jerry took it back but you could tell his heart wasn't in it. Sam however didn't say a word. He played poker in near silence for the rest of the evening and when it was time to go he didn't say a thing before walking out. The next day it was like nothing had happened but he didn't hear Sam speak of 'his' rookie again outside of a work context.

While that alone could have been enough to ping Frank's radar it really hadn't. He'd dismissed it as a "No one picks on mine but me" response. He got it. Like continued on like normal at the fifteen or as close to normal as it could with a bunch of rookies running around. If he'd been more observant he might have noticed Sam distancing himself or Sam's good mood one morning and sudden infantile rage the next. If he'd paid more attention it might have dawned on him that Oliver's not-so-subtle and half-finished 'K-I-S-S-I-N-G' chants as obviously gleaned from his seven year old were directed at Sam and his rookie and not Sam and Monica ex. It was actually Sam's piss-poor attitude one evening at The Penny that brought it all home. When an offer to play darts was received with a suggestion to go do something anatomically improbable, a glare and an angry Sam stomping out, Frank couldn't help but ask, "What the hell is going on?"

It was Noelle who pointed it out to him that night nearly a week after training. Oliver had just rolled his eyes at Sam's retreating back and thanked Epstein for his offer on Sam's behalf. He took Sam's place and schooled the rookies at darts while Noelle looked at him amazedly.

"You can't see it?" she asked him. She was genuinely astonished he hadn't figured it out.

"See what?" Frank replied. This question with a question was one-hundred percent Sam in one of his crappy moods and Frank was just sick of it.

"Do you remember retraining last week? Do you remember who Sam fought with and well… pummeled well past the point of reasonable fun?" Noelle ask him forging ahead.

"Callaghan. So what's your point?" Frank asked getting tired of this.

"Who is Callaghan dating according to the gossip mill?"

It clicked for Frank then; the silence after Jerry's comment, Oliver's teasing, Sam's terrible mood swings. "Damn it. Doesn't he know that's against the rules? Wait. It's Sam, of course he does he'd date her anyway," Frank said sarcastically.

"Would he be that upset if they were?" Noelle questioned. It was pretty obvious Sam wasn't getting any from anywhere with that chip on his shoulder.

"Just tell me that they're not and then don't tell me anything else," Frank said quietly. "He can do whatever he wants when she's not a rookie but I don't want to know about it."

"It's all just gossip to my knowledge," Noelle responded diplomatically before heading for home.

After that, though Frank suspected the gossip was at least partially true he made it a practice not to ask or tell. If Sam wanted him to know he would. Andy more than proven herself to him when she saved Sam's life undercover. Sam had certainly been right. Andy had the makings of a great cop.

The rumors faded as the months continued. Boyd came and went regularly trying to seduce Sam back undercover. Sam's hesitation set off Frank's radar but Sam was an adult. He wasn't about to tell him what to do with his life. It would feel a little hypocritical when he was seeing Noelle. Oliver of course was on Sam like gangbusters to talk to the girl. Even Jerry had softened toward the idea. Between the shooting and the nightclub near miss and the engagement it had just been what Frank suspected as an emotional tornado for Sam. He'd announced that engagement happily enough. Maybe Andy's official unavailability would allow him to move on. Sam, however independent a façade he tried to portray wasn't a solitary creature. He needed someone in his life. Maybe it was his age talking, or his better-than-good relationship with Noelle but he wanted to see his friend happy. Maybe the reality of her situation would force him to do something other than sit in this limbo.

The building collapse brought so much of what Oliver had loudly suspected to a head. When Frank had heard McNally was trapped he'd be stuck in a meeting himself. He wanted to get down there. The main part of his job he hated, the endless tedious meetings, were keeping him from his people. He contacted Oliver directly for an update and wasn't surprised to hear Sam had arrived. Oliver's descriptions of Sam however were. 'A basket-case about the run into the building if I wasn't on him like pasta sauce' and 'probably about to stuff a female detective in the back of a cruiser' were disconcerting. The last time he remembered hearing of Sam losing his cool was the day McNally busted him and Jerry burned him. It seemed Sam wasn't going to even try to move on. He'd picked his penguin and was going to stick with her.

Like everyone else when the, as Oliver claimed "fated" dissolution of Callaghan and McNally occurred, Frank had placed a small amount on the two week mourning period date in the pool. It seemed reasonable. Heartbreak doesn't last forever and Sam was doing his damnedest to bring her back into functional society. Unlike everyone else though, Frank suspected that beyond his role as friend and Protector Sam felt guilty. When he'd questioned her about it Andy had covered for Sam. He "didn't leave her alone. She took the car while he checked on another lead". Sam however had been brutally honest.

"She made me angry. She had this underlying faith in that jackass who lied to her and let her down and she wouldn't let it go so I lost it and I walked away. I should never have left her there and it's because of me she was nearly killed. She was being a good cop and I nearly got her killed," Sam said furiously. Frank knew the fury was entirely self-directed.

"That's not what McNally said, and frankly her story works better for all involved so we're going to keep that one," Frank said knowingly. "And while I know you're seeking some kind of atonement by me assigning you penance, you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not your priest and you are punishing yourself much more than I would ever think to do."

Sam just raised his eyebrows.

"Like I didn't know you went to Catholic school. I've met your sister Sam. I know about the nuns," Frank said smugly.

Sam just rolled his eyes before standing.

"Give her a few days. She needs that to process and then try apologizing again. Given what she said I don't think she blames you at all."

"I blame me. I pushed her to Callaghan. I told her he was a good guy," Sam said quietly.

"He is a good guy who made a terrible mistake and who will now pay for it by watching her live out her life with someone else." Frank didn't need to say who that implied someone else was.

After that things had been quiet-esque. His relationship with Noelle seemed to hit warp speed before crashing into a barrier he hadn't seen. He still wasn't entirely sure what it was about but he suspected a few things. It seemed better now but honestly who knew some days. When she wanted him to know, she'd share. Sam went under and McNally survived despite her apparent attraction to danger. Frank still couldn't shake his unease though. It ate at him all through the scavenger hunt and he'd never been so relieved to see his three little rookies back in the nest. He'd been certain McNally was lying in a ditch somewhere and had been ready to call out the search teams when she'd burst into the precinct. Even that hadn't settled that lingering worry. Without being able to pinpoint the worry though he was unable to do anything but wait.

He didn't need to wait that long when McNally burst into his office on her day off no less. When he got over being furious, and scared and even more furious he'd remember her determination and courage. She sat in front of him and told him a career-ending secret. One of his dear friends was in mortal danger because of something she'd done and they needed to pull Sam out now. While dialing Boyd's line what Jerry had said rang through his brain like the chiming of a mean little bell. "….we're all just waiting around for her to push it.". After that the day was a blur of anger, worry and dread. He had to hold himself back from berating McNally over and over again for what she'd done. He had to stop himself from cursing Sam to hell for his obvious complicity. It was Noelle's presence which calmed him. Noelle who told him McNally made a mistake but it was a mistake and not a machination. Noelle who reminded him of how much Sam cared and he needed them to stick together and not rip apart. When Luke came to him with what they found Boyd had done it took all his power not to strangle Boyd in his place. He knew something hadn't added up. When Noelle and Oliver took off for Pickering it took everything Frank had not to up and follow but he had to stick to the station and follow other leads if they arose. All eggs could not be placed in one basket. When the call came back that Sam was alive and safe and Brennan was in custody a cheer went up through the station. The day was done for most of them but for Frank, he had a few long discussions to prepare for with Boyd's supervisors. If Boyd was even able to write a traffic ticket when Frank was done it would be too much.

Frank didn't need to listen to Brennan's talk with Jerry to know what was said. He found out from Oliver it was the boat owned by TPS that was the giveaway. It wasn't McNally. That didn't mean however that things were okay; not by a long shot. He frog-marched McNally to his office but looking at her he couldn't work up much rage. He'd spent his day yelling at her and she had obviously long-since hit the point of total emotional shutdown. Oliver had also mentioned to him that McNally and Swarek hadn't said so much as a word to one another. Sam rode with Ollie, and Andy drove the new kid. Clearly he wasn't the only one with some unresolved issues to address with Sam. He sent her home after that. She would be suspended while he and IA decided what to do. He did assure her when she seemed near tears that her career wasn't over but it very well could have been.

When he saw Sam standing in the observation room he felt his temper crack. "That's what makes this hard," had been an honest statement. Sam was his friend and his colleague but right now he was Sam's supervisor and Sam had done a very very bad thing. He yelled. He berated. He took out all his fear from the day on him and then he suspended him. Sam took it, keeping his mouth shut the entirety of the time. As Frank wound down he felt himself relaxing. His fried was alive and survived being tortured by a grieving maniac. He was somewhat surprised then when Sam finally spoke.

"I get that you're angry, and I deserve every bit of it but there are two things I'd like to say," Sam said pausing for Frank's go-ahead. It came with a nod and Sam continued. "Firstly, I don't know what McNally told you but what happened with her while I was under was on me. I'm the superior officer. I should have sent her away the minute I saw her and I should never have dragged her into this with me. I know we'll both be punished but she shouldn't lose her career after this. This is on me," Sam paused to glance at his boss who waved his hand.

"Secondly…" Frank prompted somewhat impatiently.

"I want Boyd's career on a platter. He covered up the murder of a mother and child; nearly got Andy killed and then tried to use her as a scapegoat. He lied to me, he sent me under without a full story and assured me there wasn't more and then sent me there with a half-assed cover that nearly got me killed. If his badge isn't mounted on a trophy hunter's wall it will be on mine after the next time I see him," Sam said seriously. He wasn't kidding.

Frank nodded. "For the second, I've been on that most of the evening. If he keeps his badge somehow the best he'll get is patrolling the impound lot overnight. I'm working to make sure he doesn't even get that. As for the first, she's not going to lose her job despite your idiotic mistake. You're both going to wish you had been killed once IA is done with you but you'll survive. I have to say she said much the same about you though, Sam. I don't know if you realize it yet, but you've met your match in her," Frank said candidly before adding "Get out of here before I lose my temper again."

Sam left without much fuss after that, not dejected, just resigned.

Noelle had badgered him a bit about their discussion afterward. He told her what he could i.e. very little, but that if Sam were smart he'd seal the deal with McNally "before she realized he was such a jerk."

Noelle just laughed and shook her head. She knew Frank and she knew Sam. Sam was secretive and private and had appropriated a mysterious air about him as much for how it drew others in as for his own protection. Frank was his natural opposite. He was open and gregarious and generally upfront about what he wanted and how he felt.

Noelle pointed out helpfully that despite their differences they had the same weakness; they became too invested in the people their cared about to their own detriment. When Frank just raised his eyebrows she smacked his shoulder. "You both care too much." Stifling a laugh Frank rolled his eyes. Maybe Sammy fit that bill but certainly not him.

A month later at a table at the Penny Frank finished off his beer before waving a jaunty goodbye with Noelle at his side. McNally and Swarek's suspensions had ended the previous Monday and Noelle had offered his credit card to buy them a 'Welcome Back' round. He had somewhat feared that seeing Sam at poker after all that time would have created some resentment but it seemed Sam was back to his old self. Well, not quite his old self. He'd been a little quieter than usual and more distracted. His normally wry commentary lacking the night was held up by bawdy comments from Oliver and Jerry. This Sam in front of him Sam was unusually chipper and in full form with his notoriously awful jokes and some new ones which, while also awful were a novel addition.

They paused at the door to allow Noelle to button her coat and Frank couldn't help but look back. Oliver was now at the table entertaining Andy and Sam with stories of the new rookies in the division but from this angle Frank could see the hand tracing patterns on McNally's back. It seemed fairly obvious now why Sam left early and had been fiddling with his phone most of the night. Wouldn't Oliver be interested in that little bit of information. Maybe he'd just hang onto it for a while. Oliver had been bragging about being the "Best Man" at poker the other night complete with terrible surname puns. Frank had been less than amused. He may not be the best friend but he certainly felt he deserved better than being an usher. Jerry could be an usher. Thinking some more Frank decided Oliver could suffer without gratifying details on the McNally-Swarek duo for a little while longer. It seemed like maybe things would turn out okay for all of them. As their boss and friend, he could only hope.

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><p>I was really tempted to use lobster instead of penguin but it seemed a bit ham-handed. (Kidding)<p> 


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